The other day I did something absolutely stupid, totally on purpose and people got very upset with me for it. Sometimes I do stupid things.
Yet it was worth every moment because I learned something invaluable.
I had incidentally just watched a video How to become more confident.
It is a revolutionary video and it tells you to do so many things that we instinctively avoid. If you don’t watch the video what you need to know is that the most important part of becoming more confident is to be comfortable with discomfort. To do that you put yourself on uncomfortable situations over and over again.
Naturally, I thought this was a genius idea especially as it uses systematic desensitization.
I was with a group of people who were incidentally upset at another group of people for failing to be supportive. Naturally I did the stupidest thing I could think of. I posted about this on social media and I got tons of backlash and debate. Here’s the thing though, I am an incredibly laid back person and I really did not even care about this whole thing. Not to mention I posted this in a group that all of us involved in this event are in. A group that I am involved in and see all the time.
I felt that it was as good a time as any to use this an opportunity to be uncomfortable.
However some girls really took offense at me. It was awful.
I know it was stupid to do in the first place. Because naturally that is the sort of discussion that should take place in person where there is less confusion.
I was left confused at these people who I thought I knew, who apparently do not even know me at all. I was stunned that so quickly they could all turn on me.
Secondly, I was incredibly relieved. I have spent so much time and energy in my life trying to get people to like me. Doing things so people will like me. Suddenly, apparently no-one in my own group even liked me and I was totally okay.
This was earth shattering for me. They did not think well of me at all and I did not even care.
I learned a lot of things from that one stupid thing. I learned that I truly do not care what other people think, something that I have been a slave to for years. My self-worth did not depend on what others thought of me. I learned that I can be uncomfortable, that it is good to be uncomfortable.
I saw the incredible power there is in looking at life from a perspective of growth and learning. I learned a lot from one stupid, simple silly action. I learned it though because I was paying attention. Ultimately that one silly thing turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done because it taught me about myself and my own worth.
I cannot tell you how free I feel. Free because my worth does not depend on what others think of me and free because I know I can learn from my mistakes.
Besides we all do stupid things from time to time. Things we regret but we can see them as opportunities to learn.
Side note: That TED talk suggested going to a restaurant and eating eating a meal without having your phone out or reading a book. I want to try this so badly but it sounds awful. Have you ever done anything like that? Someday I will.