“It’s all my insecurities, fears and failures laid out and my own fear that my worth is determined by what I do tied up in this.”
I know these weren’t the exact words I said but I did say something along those lines and she listened.[ She being Dani, who is my ever patient, awesome and incredible for putting up with my and my crap for so long, freind. ]
That is however, how I feel and a mini breakdown with tears may have been an everyday occurrence as I dealt with this challenge. The challenge being, the hardest course of my college career crunched into three weeks. Some days even included vomiting because dissection is not my thing.
A challenge that tested. Something that I had to do and yet so deeply feared that I could not.
I want to do it all. I want to conquer the world and sometimes it seems like if I can’t then what’s the point?
Not because I want to off myself but to me my worth is still intertwined with what I do and how well I do it.
I know it shouldn’t be, but there it is.
My worth is not determined by what I do.
It’s not. It’s just not. I have to stop thinking that way.
Take this as a reminder from a freind.
Don’t ever let what you do, define your worth.
You are worth far more than what you do.