I am so busy and yet I am not.

I run from project to project. Homework to work. I have a schedule that makes me want to hyperventilate. I run from thing to thing. Stopping to caffeinate and (occasionally) eat. I don’t exercise at all but I do watch television.

I am so insanely busy and yet I am not.


Perhaps this is what taking a super intensive summer course teaches you. All I have wanted to do is something else. It has made me think about what I want to do. What I really long to do and it has shown me how much time I have, versus what I spend it all on.

I went cold turkey on facebook and instagram because I realized very quickly that I spent way too much time on them. Sure a few minutes here and there does not seem like a lot but it adds up. Twenty minutes spent over the course of the day on something I don’t need.

I had all these reasons on why I loved facebook and instagram. Some of these reasons do make sense for a blogger. However once I got over the initial shock of how connected I was to facebook and instagram I did not miss it. Wanting to take photos all of the time and post them. Wanting to log onto facebook far more often than I had even realized. I discovered that I loved being unplugged.

I did not miss the noise. I loved the quiet.

I loved not being connected. I still do. I find myself wanting more time. Thinking more about how we spend this precious thing we have called time and more about how I want to spend mine.

Sometimes we are not as busy as we think or we truly are; but we are spending our precious moments on the wrong things.

I have been reading more articles on how we spend our time and consequently our lives. This has forced me to evaluate my life, to examine how I do spend it.

I feel sucked in to consume. Still I want less of this noise.

I want time to pray or meditate. To write or journal (something I have not done in ages). To exercise. To talk to friends on the phone. To write letters. To read books and think deep thoughts. All of this and I have an intensive summer class (another) to take and a job to work. I don’t know how this will all work but I do know that I can say no to this noise. I can say no to reading all the blogs (though) I love them dearly. I can say no to hours of netflix. Instead I can say yes to a few minutes of reading. A few minutes of writing.

You are never going to find some amazing amount of time to attain your goals. You have to find it, search for it and create it. As well as focus on what really matters and evaluate that.

Sometimes when trying to reach our goals, clean rooms are overrated.



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