All I want to know is why..



Why do  even do this to myself?

Mess all around me, in the process of doing my hair, trying to do a photo shoot while on the way out the door. Again I ask why?

I have tons of credits this semester. Credits with a lot of work. I have many jobs that take up a lot of time and add stress to my life. On top of all that I am planning a reunion that is kind of a big deal…

I am sort of in a freak out mode at the moment. Because I had a friend visit this weekend and I cannot see her because I am sick. I have a ton of work to do like homework and planning a reunion is stressful not to mention school and being sick.

I hate being sick… Yet I keep getting sick and it sucks.Why do I say yes to all these things.

Why does chaos seem so great. I thought I had free time at the beginning of the semester so I bought the GRE book because I need to take that.

I also want to be this great writer and successful blogger as well as work out a lot and all I can really think is why?

Why did I say yes. I love it. I really do but who knows why that is?

I do not know the why but I do know the what. The what is this… what I need to do. I need to trust God and cling to him. I don’t know if this was his idea or mine. I am being honest  ok? I do know however that he is going to walk with me through all of it.

At the end of the day I need to trust and cling to him.

He knows why even if I don’t.

I also have to embrace the fact that I am an over-committer, over-achiever with idealistic dreams about projects and the actual time it takes to accomplish things. 


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