I want to do things. For awhile I have been feeling like God wants me to do something amazing. Only I don’t know what that is. Instead of figuring it out however I am watching New Girl.
New Girl is fun and distracting. Listening to God is hard.
You think with this belief that I am to do something great I would be listening to God. Only I am not.. I am afraid of what he will say. Of how he might want me to change.
Fear. Is kinda at the root of it all.
That in comfort. I realize that drinking coffee every morning may be one of the few routines I have had and kept in my life for the last four years.
Drinking coffee in the morning is my time. I sit and I drink it and typically start on whatever needs to be done that day. Or I take it with me to work and I drink it in the car, or I drink it at work.
Coffee is a constant in my life. I drink it in the afternoon. I keep coming back to it. It is a source of energy and creativity in my life (unlike New Girl).
I want my relationship with coffee to be like my relationship with God. A constant in my life.
Prayer is about listening. Listening in the quiet moments. Listening during the late nights and early mornings. Listening to the Lord in the midst of the craziness. Taking time to listen to the Lord is integral to my life and growth.
I don’t know what the Lord wants if I don’t listen.
Yet listening is hard. A lot harder than watching New Girl but if there is anything that show has taught me is that relationships do not last without commitment.
Jess, Nick, Schmidt and Winston have this commitment for each other. In their own (sometimes awful) way they want what is best for each other and they are their for each other. That is commitment.
I want my prayer life to be commitment like that.
Commitment and not this little fling I currently seem to have with New Girl.