The why behind the party scene

It's not what you do; it's why you do it that makes the difference.

Growing up I was a good kid. Rebellion, real rebellion was never really my thing. I like everyone to get along and I want everyone to be happy.

Naturally I was not a serious rebel. I was a little naive however to the ways of the world. Until the tenth grade when I moved to a new area and become involved with a new youth group.

I quickly discovered these kids were nothing like the ones I were used to. These kids did pot and drank underage. For many of them however this was not about rebellion at all. It was the culture they were brought up in. Their parents and extended family were all into it.

I realized for the first time that the reasons people did rebellious or just bad things is not about the drugs or the alcohol at all.

In fact as we say with anorexia it is not about the food.

With drugs it is not about the drugs.

With alcoholism it is not about the alcohol.

It is really all about the pain. We do bad things because of the pain. Because bad things happen to us, because we hurt, we struggle.

I was reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown and she writes

It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference.

I guess what  I am really trying to say is that you cannot understand the hard core-plastered party scene until you experience pain. Then you know that is is all about the pain.

It’s not about the what, it is the why.

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