Frightening. Unknown and Awesome.
These are the words that most accurately describe how I feel about college.
A few nights ago a college professor with a lifetime of experience and the stories to prove it. Told our class these words;
These will be the years in your life that go by the fastest.
Two years into this craziness that we call college I know that what my professor said is completely true. That fact alone scares me.
It’s like I only have a little bit of time. Only a short time to do it all. To live it out. To experience “the college life” whatever that means.
The thought is scary because I want to use it well. This time in college. This time that I have been given. I want to make the most of this experience that I am paying thousands of dollars for each year.
I want to make the right choices. I want do things that are amazing. I do not want to have any regrets and I am scared that I will.
Scared that maybe what I think I should focus on is not what I need to focus on.
It can be scary. I only have one college undergraduate experience . . . and I only have one life to live.
I don’t have the answers. I wish I did because maybe then I would be a little less scared.
I keep reminding myself.
You only have one wild and precious life to live.
That’s it. One life to live.
I do not know if I am making all the right choices. The odds are I am not but that is when I remind myself.
Life is a journey. A long perilous journey that includes much self-discovery.
I also know that I want to do things that scare me.
I want do things that scare me.
Doing those things is how I will grow. That is how I will become a better person. I don’t care if it is sky-diving or speaking in front of people or articulating my opinions or simply learning to be myself in all situations. I want to do the things that scare me so that I will grow. I never want to live my life by a single limitation. So I am done limiting myself.
I want to stop. Slow down. Focus on the moments.
I could be working on homework right now. There is a huge list of things that I could be doing but I need to learn to breath. I want to learn to slow down and enjoy the moments. I do not just want to survive I want to thrive and I want to remember nights like this when I could not sleep and chose writing over homework.
I want to look back at myself in five years and laugh. Laugh at my fears and insecurities. Laugh at how naïve I am. I want to look back and know that no matter where I am at.
I need to embrace this one wild and precious life.